Sunday 28 March 2021

They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha.

Thursday April 1st is the first day when a number of Britons living in Spain will become illegal aliens. How many this might be, no one knows. How many might be rounded up and sent packing by the Spaniards is also in doubt. Those who are, or do, will have fallen foul of the Schengen area rules, which state that foreigners can only be in the region for ninety days in any one hundred and eighty.

And yes, they have ways of knowing if you drove up to France for a visit or you live off the grid and only use cash. The rule has been in place for foreigners ever since the treaty was signed; the only difference is that the British, through their own ingenuity, have now joined the ranks of ‘foreigners’. Well played.

There has been plenty of warning – between the British ambassador, his consulate, the English-language media and two or three champions emerging from between the British residents like Anne Hernandez (Find her at this Olive Press story here) and Sue Wilson, both enemies of the result of the 2016 UK referendum to leave the European Union. The item, understandably, is of less interest to the Spanish, and appears in few places.

It’s strange how far-off unrest can affect us locally: a bit like the Ever Given container ship clogging up the Suez Canal, the fall of the Siege of Mafeking or that peculiar flu-like sickness in Wuhan. 

Britain’s answer to terrible journalism The Express has now sunk to quoting the peculiar Global247News (here) with one Anthony Cook saying “The Spanish dream is over for me, it’s time to go back to Cardiff. It’s been a blast but the new regulations have made it impossible to stay. The freedom of movement has gone and I don’t want to end up getting deported and fined”. In answer to this egregious provocation by the Spanish authorities, “Diddy”, from The Express Editor’s Pick, answers with: “I hope those from the EU living in the UK are awarded the same treatment”. Other British, Irish and even Swiss (here) news-sites followed with similar quotes; although The Guardian, at least, smelled a rat.

Global247News ran an even-more eccentric follow-up, two days later: ‘Brits delighted to be back in UK after Spanish deadline departure looms’ ending with this quote, “I’m back! – it’s fantastic, British real ale, proper fish and chips and the TV doesn’t freeze and no power cuts, it’s bloody marvellous – oh and you still see the sun on occasions”.

The Spanish news has been relatively silent on this tender subject, although Almeria Hoy says that ‘Thousands of Brits living in Almería will become ‘illegals’ at the end of March’. We wonder (briefly?) how many more will be branded ‘illegal’ in the much larger provinces of Málaga, Alicante and the archipelagos?

If true – the question arises, where will the British authorities house the hundreds of thousands of irate Brits from the EU-27 who will be unceremoniously dumped on the Southampton quay by various European navies in the days to come?

Will they be building little wooden homes for them/us on Salisbury Plain?

 

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