Sunday 31 October 2021

Pet Rules, Rule OK

The new pet-law going through the Spanish parliament at the present time has a few odd bits. First, to own a dog, one will need to take a course. We don’t yet know what this entails (probably the Government doesn’t either), and anyway, cats, as we know, tend to take no notice of us except when it pleases them to do so. The legislators have wisely taken note.

Both cats and dogs, however, will be issued with a proper DNI card. This is to help them sign for Amazon packages and make it easier for the authorities to control abandoned animals (will they have to carry their card with them at all times?).

Our pets should be 'integrated into the family life'. Where they don't live in our home, they should have a proper purpose-built place to live in with shelter and protection - stables or whatnot. Take care they don't breed indiscriminately (there go the rabbits). At least one sex should be fully sterilised unless one is registered with the breeders association the 'Registro Nacional de Criadores'.

You can't leave 'em tied up when you are absent, nor may they wander about in public spaces 'without the person responsible for their welfare' (the one that used to be called 'their owner'). Of course, you will already have your little plastic bag and a squirty full of vinegar for your twice-daily peregrinations around the park with Fido.

In the case of dogs, that they are trained properly, and that all one's animal companions ('pets') visit the vet regularly. We await a free national health service for pets with interest.

For those pets that live in an aquarium or a cage, one must be sure that the capacity is big enough for them to be comfortable. We leave our pet lobster to thrash about in the bath for example. In short, no more goldfish bowls, for Goodness sake!

Naturally, you can't allow pets to suffer, neither may you 'dock' their ears or tails (their balls, yes, why on earth not?). You won't be able to leave an animal enclosed on a terrace or elsewhere permanently; or breed them without a licence (!); or exhibit them for sale in shops; or sell them to friends (a contract should be signed saying the animal was given free); or donate them without papers and microchip; or 'release' them into nature; or kill them; or bury them without telling the appropriate authorities; or use them in adverts; or use 'choke' collars; or animal fights or exhibitions or circuses; or kick them...

This remarkable and far-sighted law should be through before the end of next year.

Finally (and mention this to the Romanian fellow down at the Mercadona), one may not have a dog handy when one is begging.

It is said that the limit of domestic animals allowed in a household is five, or maybe six; although this varies between town and country, and between autonomies. No doubt the surplus will be expeditiously terminated by the competent authorities.

Lastly, and this is Spain, fighting bulls are exempted from the above rules.

Copied from articles here, here and, generically, here. The jokes are mine.

No comments:

Post a Comment